


wise men say (only fools rush in)

by johannes_cabal



Category: SECHSKIES (Band)
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 14:09:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15775677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johannes_cabal/pseuds/johannes_cabal
Summary: Sunghoon gets married.That's it, that's the story.





	wise men say (only fools rush in)

**Author's Note:**

> special thanks to my enabler jonny @KAMSANGI for putting up with my many crack ideas.

They were waiting for their respective turns for the album jacket shoot, when their phones all vibrated at the same time. Only Sunghoon had a knowing grin, and Suwon was suddenly filled with a sense of dread. 

“I’m getting married! - Sunghoon” the notification on their phones blared in bold letters, along with a long stream of emojis. 

“What the actual hell,” Jiwon swears under his breath, looking from his phone to Sunghoon and back in disbelief. “We didn’t know you were seeing someone!” 

“Do we know her?” Suwon asked nonchalantly, not looking up from his phone. 

Sunghoon’s knowing grin didn’t fade, and the dread in Suwon spread to his entire body. 

“I guess you could say that,” he replied mysteriously.

———

A few days later, each of the members received an invitation in the mail. The bride’s name was not mentioned in the invitation, which was extremely odd, and only mentioned that it was Sunghoon’s special day, along with an address, time and RSVP email. 

“The poor Hoonyworld staff bending their backs backward for this,” Jaeduck murmured, filled with sympathy. Knowing Sunghoon, it would be a great star-studded event, with elaborate decorations. Perhaps Sunghoon would even invite star orchestras or top singers to perform. It would definitely not be low-key at all. 

Nearly all the members confirmed their attendance, except Jiyong, who sent his apologies for being unable to attend and said he would send a gift at a later date. 

Of course, Sunghoon being Sunghoon, the tabloids began to pick up on the news. News sites, blogs and comment sections were rife with speculation over the identity of Sunghoon’s mysterious bride.

Maybe she was a non-celebrity, hence the need to protect her identity, or perhaps she was a top star and Sunghoon wanted to protect her, perhaps fearing the fans’ reactions. 

Thankfully the comments were mostly fine. There were many congratulations, there were many crying emojis and a few joke comments about Sunghoon possibly marrying himself, as Shinhwa’s Dongwan did before– those got laughing reactions and downvotes.

———

On the other hand, the members were confused. Did they not need to act as groomsmen? Did they not need to help Sunghoon with wedding preparations and organise a bachelor party? In fact, Sunghoon had fobbed off their messages asking if he needed help and whether they would be needed for groomsmen duty, claiming he was going to handle it on his own. 

“I totally expected Sunghoon to go groomzilla on us, but he’s not,” Suwon remarked, feeling odd about the entire thing. The others agreed. Jaijin said he wanted to paint a portrait for the newlyweds, but he was only nearly done with Sunghoon’s side of the painting, as he had no idea how the bride looked like, and Sunghoon wasn’t exactly being helpful with clues either. 

“I’m just going to give some household items,” huffed Jiwon. ”It’s the most practical.” Jaeduck nodded. 

The wedding date drew closer and closer and none of the members had a clue on who Sunghoon’s mysterious bride was. 

This was a first, attending a wedding without ever seeing who the bride was, not even in pictures.

“Do you guys think it’s like those old fashioned arranged marriages where he meets his bride on the day itself?” Jaeduck asked thoughtfully. Suwon raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think Sunghoon’s the type to let others choose.”

“Then again, our age–“ but he was quickly silenced by an odd stare from Jaijin.

———

The day of the wedding finally came, and the members each made their way to the venue. They were surprised when they found out upon arriving that it would not be at one of the huge halls. They also wondered where the other guests were. The lobby area wasn’t filled with that many people either. 

They began to slightly feel out of place in their suit jackets and corsages. It vaguely reminded them of that ominous moment during their New Foundation Youth Trip when one minute they were in suits, the next minute they were watching their cars turn into the airport. 

A staff member beckoned them inside the room. Strangely, the decor was quite minimalist for Sunghoon’s tastes.

“Hyung, what does that say? Sell what?” Suwon nudged Jiwon, gesturing to the front of the room. 

In big gold letter balloons, the words “ _SELF WEDDING_ ” greeted the members like a glaring street light. 

“What the? Ah _ssh–_ “ Jiwon swore audibly, when he finally interpreted the words, and noticed some cameramen around them. 

“What’s wrong, hyung?” Jaeduck asked, seeing Jiwon become flustered. Jiwon heaved a long sigh and shot a pitiful look at each of his members. “It’s for a programme, you rascals. He’s bloody marrying himself.”

Their chatter was interrupted by an ominous voice coming from the PA system. “We invite the guests to take their seats, as the ceremony will be beginning shortly.” Suwon huffed. “We’re the only guests then.” As soon as they sat down, a bunch of crew members rushed in to place mics on them. The members all wore dazed expressions. 

“The entrance of the groom!” bellowed the voice over the PA system, jolting them back into whatever this reality was. 

The doors opened, and the members heard the familiar warble of Sunghoon. They turned, and they greeted him with choruses of “Aish” and “What the heck.”

Sunghoon strode into the venue, in a bedazzled white suit with semi-precious stones and fringes. It resembled a stage outfit and the gems reflected the light. 

As he strode in, he held up a red handheld mirror, and the members froze in mild horror as they realized Sunghoon was serenading himself, his reflection in the mirror. 

Suwon facepalmed, Jaeduck looked blank, Jaijin remained as he was and Jiwon was beginning to look as if he was going to attack somebody. 

Once Sunghoon reached the front of the room, the balloons spelling _SELF WEDDING_ behind him, he picked up his mic and began to address the guests, beaming. 

“Seriously, thank you guys for coming, you’re really the best. Even though I didn’t disclose much details, you all came. Actually I called Chilhyun, asking him to sing the congratulatory song, but I got turned down once he realized what it was for. Even Yoonji turned me down. So, thanks guys.” 

The members still continued to be frozen in place. A total silence fell upon the room. The staff looked slightly tense, and the cameramen backed up a bit.

“What the actual heck–“ Jiwon broke the silence with a string of curses, as nearly everyone looked on, stunned. 

“Ooh, cake!” Jaijin whooped, making a beeline for the cake. 

“I think this would be a _very_ good time to take five,” Jaeduck said nervously, making exaggerated gestures to the staff to cut their mics and cameras. 

Suwon just sat back down on his seat, and scanned the growing chaos around him, obviously ready for the _real_ show to begin.

———

**Author's Note:**

> also yes, everything i touch turns to crack.


End file.
